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Old 12-04-2012, 05:59 AM
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PolyLinguist PolyLinguist is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 49

Hi Onoma, thank you for taking my thoughts seriously, and for going to the trouble of answering them.

Basically, what I am trying to do is to bounce off my ideas to people knowledgeable about the poly scene, so that I can improve my chances in their world.

Originally Posted by onoma View Post
You misunderstand. I'm not saying you don't or shouldn't want a relationship. I'm saying that you have other strengths. You've lived on three continents, making you worldly. You can probably break out a decent accent, right? Women love accents. Everything you listed in your first post is a strength rather than a liability, especially around the right women. Hell, just being married makes you more attractive to women.
Actually, I have lived on four continents - just on three with my wife. And of course I have an accent, I am Hungarian by birth. Think George Soros, if you ever heard him - although I don't have his billions.

I don't think I am that unattractive to women, but whether I am attractive enough for them to want to sleep with me without a mono bond is the question. I have little doubt that I could find someone reasonable if I was single and offered permanence.

Originally Posted by onoma View Post
Really? In your first post you listed qualities about yourself as liabilities. You kept asking why anyone would want to be with you. Those are not signs of confidence. Saying you're too intellectual actually makes it sound like you're embarrassed about being smart!
No, they are not liabilities, but they are not (necessarily) enough.

Your main thesis holds true though. Approach women with confidence, and the game is half won. I have to keep that in mind.

Originally Posted by onoma View Post

Good. Now I have a question though... if you're straightforward, were you just not interested in your female friends or did you have trouble telling them you were?
Here we are getting into another area, worthy of discussion in another thread. What do you mean by interested?

One of these friends I was totally infatuated with at one time, oh she could be very certain of that. I would have done anything for her, including marry her on the spot, and she knew it. I became quite good at writing love letters - these were pre-e-mail times. And I succeeeded too, to a certain extent - but in the end she married someone else, more is the pity. (Although I am pretty sure my marriage with her wouldn't have fared as well in the long term as my actual one)

But that's because I really wanted her. Other female friends were OK, and they could have bedded me if they wanted to (and some did, at least once or twice), but I was not in love with them, and it's difficult to express such sentiments very well without hurting someone's feelings and possibly endangering the friendship. Especially in a mono world.

Originally Posted by onoma View Post

A drink or two does help. Overthinking does not help!
Thanks, and I'll drink a toast to you at the next poly party I go to!
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