It sounds to me, and I hope this is true, that this is a time of withdrawing and regrouping, of reflection and introspection so that you and Elemental can find and come to a place of balance as individuals and as partners. Perhaps then you can come to a place where you can offer other very special people (whether or not it is Willow or Lily at that time and place) to share in your refreshed selves.
I am sorry for the pain and turmoil. I am hopeful for the growth and peace to come.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero, probably mono male, my live-in husband (together for 21 years, married for 17)
Dude: hetero, probably poly male, my live-in boyfriend (of 2 years; friends for longer) and MrS's best friend (for several years longer than that)
VV and MsJ: bisexual women with male primaries, LDR FWBs (of 19 and 7 years)
My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe