First of all, I've never really considered myself polyamorous, but I've never been closed to the idea of it either. Right now, I'm in a relationship that would be labelled 'monogamous.' But I've been having to think of it otherwise.
I've been seeing someone for almost a month now and I really like her a lot, but there's another girl in her life who's an ex and a best friend, and they have a very emotionally intimate relationship. I've been trying to think of their relationship in terms of polyamory, even though this would probably upset my new partner if she knew I was thinking that. But I'm starting to feel really jealous and, well, less special than this other girl. She mentions her almost every single time we talk, be it for 5 minutes or 10 hours and it's making me crazy. It feels as if they never took time apart to 'break up' properly and still have a very skewed relationship. I know she cares about her deeply and they've been very close friends for a long time, but she also wants to be with me.
I wanted to ask you guys because I wanted advice from people who are poly on what it means to BE poly and how you can tell if it is for you or not. I'm saying this because I can't tell if my jealousy is a symptom of a problem, or if I'm just not cut out for polyamory, or what it is. In the past, I've cut off casual hookups and general 'dating around' because I just felt like I was being way too intimate with too many people in my life at once...and that was when there were 3 other people. I don't know if this means anything? Gaaahhhh I'm so confused guys!! I'm going to talk to her about it regardless, but I just wanted some advice first. I felt like this was the right place to ask.
Sorry if this is rambling, I'm just a little lost and confused, and I could really use any help, at all.
Note: my partner considers herself strictly monogamous.