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Old 12-03-2012, 01:11 AM
moowithelsie moowithelsie is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2
Default can I handle polyamory? Why or why not? Advice needed

Hello all,

First of all, I've never really considered myself polyamorous, but I've never been closed to the idea of it either. Right now, I'm in a relationship that would be labelled 'monogamous.' But I've been having to think of it otherwise.

I've been seeing someone for almost a month now and I really like her a lot, but there's another girl in her life who's an ex and a best friend, and they have a very emotionally intimate relationship. I've been trying to think of their relationship in terms of polyamory, even though this would probably upset my new partner if she knew I was thinking that. But I'm starting to feel really jealous and, well, less special than this other girl. She mentions her almost every single time we talk, be it for 5 minutes or 10 hours and it's making me crazy. It feels as if they never took time apart to 'break up' properly and still have a very skewed relationship. I know she cares about her deeply and they've been very close friends for a long time, but she also wants to be with me.

I wanted to ask you guys because I wanted advice from people who are poly on what it means to BE poly and how you can tell if it is for you or not. I'm saying this because I can't tell if my jealousy is a symptom of a problem, or if I'm just not cut out for polyamory, or what it is. In the past, I've cut off casual hookups and general 'dating around' because I just felt like I was being way too intimate with too many people in my life at once...and that was when there were 3 other people. I don't know if this means anything? Gaaahhhh I'm so confused guys!! I'm going to talk to her about it regardless, but I just wanted some advice first. I felt like this was the right place to ask.

Sorry if this is rambling, I'm just a little lost and confused, and I could really use any help, at all. Thanks.

Note: my partner considers herself strictly monogamous.

Last edited by moowithelsie; 12-03-2012 at 01:22 AM.
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