Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Yes, it's no one else's business who sleeps with whom, but being in the closet gets old real quick. I imagine that it's cool if your wife holds your hand in public, gives you a long hug goodbye, says hello with a peck on the cheek -- a potential gf would probably want to have that same freedom, in time. You certainly can cross that bridge when you get to it, but it's something to keep in mind...
Thanks Annabel, of course I'll keep it in mind. In our couple, we have never been big on public displays of affection, it's more like continuous teasing banter, something that even some mono friends have noticeably become jealous about. "How can you guys have that when I can't?", seems to be how they feel.
But I don't feel that I am in a closet. For now I keep my newly acquired poly interest private, in part because how will it feel if, say after a few years, it becomes clear that no poly woman (aside from my wife) will touch me with a ten-foot pole? Few people like to be known as failures.