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Old 12-02-2012, 08:21 PM
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PolyLinguist PolyLinguist is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 49

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
OP, i don't know if you do Facebook or not, but my Spouse and i put "Open Relationship" in our profiles and tagged each other in them so that anyone potentially interested in pursuing a relationship with one of us could see that it was out there and could even check out the other partner or interact with them independently. I feel that this has helped facilitate at least one "other" relationship. Of course, it isn't really a way to meet new people, but a way to break the non-monogamy ice with people we've already met without putting them in the position of having to be pro-active when it comes to bringing up that topic in conversation. Also, it helps if you're not worried about being "outed" to family, colleagues, people at church, or whoever, without having to customize the privacy settings.
Thanks, BoringGuy (which I am sure you are not )

This brings up the topic of coming out to one's friends and family, which is quite another topic from what we are discussing here.

I am on Facebook, and for a while I did put "Open" into my profile. One reaction I got was from a former girlfriend, who is quite "protective" of my marriage, as are quite a few of our friends - it seems that we represent for many people an idealized form of marriage (we have been together happily for 30 years, after all), and they would hate to see it fall apart. Anyway, my friend asked me if B. (my wife) knew about my "Open" status (of course she did), and gave me a little lecture on how being open was just a prelude to splitting up in her experience.

I decided not to open myself to further discussions of this kind, so I changed my status back to plain "married" on Facebook. Interestingly, not so much because I am worried about my friends' displeasure, although that is also a concern - yes, my friends do matter, and I'd hate to worsen my relationship with them on this account. But, mostly, because I don't want to be seen by friends and relatives as "cruising" - it's a rather pathetic image at my age and state in life. If I did find somebody, I have little doubt that I would be able to handle it quite well, because I usually handle life-changing situations well. I already have quite a few female friends, I can always introduce another such friend to my social circle if need be - it's no-one's business who sleeps with whom and when, after all. My children would probably catch on, but even if not, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
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