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Old 12-02-2012, 05:14 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,451

This is excerpted from an article on Fetlife but is relevant to okc as well.

3. Why are you friend requesting me?

Holy crap, look at that totally hot picture! Are you instantly hitting the friend request button? No matter how hard your dick is, please take a moment to actually read the profile of the person you are friend requesting. Is she up for being friends with random Internet people? Does she have a Master who needs to approve the friend request first? Follow her guidelines and behave accordingly. Be respectful.

4. Why are you sending me a message?

Did you see the above about reading a woman's profile before friend requesting? The same rules apply for sending a message.

Can you imagine just walking up to a stranger in a grocery store and saying to her "yur hot. wuz up?" Would you be surprised if she gave you a weird look and then just walked away? Would you walk up to a stranger in a coffee shop and say, "slut, you're my bitch now and should get where you belong! On your knees and start sucking my cock!" Or throw yourself at her feet, crying "this slave is the scum of the earth, Goddess Ma'am, and eagerly awaits you to trample its balls!"

Sending a message to a stranger on Fetlife like the above is not all that much different. Please, for the love of kink just don't do it.

Newsflash - women tend to get lots of messages on sites like this. If the best thing you can come up with is "what's up" then you're not ready to send a message to that woman. If you're not already in a D/s relationship with someone, then sending them an explicitly domly or subby message is not appropriate. Especially if you send it to a woman and it isn't even her correct orientation! E.g. sending a dominating message to a woman who identifies as a domina or top.

If you want to be a cut above the rest, send a respectful, creative, and intelligent message that actually SAYS something. A tasteful compliment, a comment on a recent post she made, a question about a relevant fetish, whatever. If you don't get a response, brush it off and move on. Sending an additional angry message calling the woman a bitch for not responding isn't going to win you any points. Guess what? She may be busy, or offline, or simply not interested in responding. The fact that you sent a message does not somehow entitle you to a response.

Do not send the same mass message to every woman you can find in your area. It's obvious, and we do talk to each other.

5. Finally, to the Thoughtful and Not Annoying at All Guys

For those of you who already do all of the above, thank you for NOT being That Guy. You are a breath of fresh air, and if you're not getting laid now I hope you do so in the very near future.
And behalf of all the ladies on Fetlife, i'd like to wish you the very best of luck..
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's bf for 5 years
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