Ok, things are sorted out. The result is … hmmm... I don't quite know how I should assess it. It was to some extend a basic incompatibility. We really found each others kryptonite and we saw that we can argue about this for hours, we can't really change the fact that we work that way. I guess, it is ok to have one thing you can't let go off in regard to bad personal traits. Both of us realized that we won't be able to change this trigger for the other and that we can live with it. It took us over a year to discover this dynamic, I would guess that an argument per year is acceptable
Part of me doesn't like the fact that there is something I can't 'fix'. I hate it, when I need to realize that I am not in control over everything going on in my life. But this is what makes me 'me' in a way and what defines him as 'him'. There is a similar thing with Sward, but we don't stumble upon it with this big explosion coming along with it. I think, that has been the reason why I was so passive about it yesterday and mainly curious what will happen next. I am not used to such a fierce and hot-blodded person like Lin when it comes to arguments and fights. I was overwhelmed by the intensity. From Lin's point of view, this was a totally normal fight, something he almost never has with me, but quite regularly encountered in former relationships. Sward and I always talked things out, we never really yelled at each other. We will see when the next time will be.
All things considered, it was a really nice evening. I almost called it off after our second argument shortly before my friend and her husband arrived, but we had fun and I am glad that I didn't give in to that notion. My friend liked Lin and was happy to see Sward again, her husband got comfy around our group as well after some minutes and the dinner went great.
What I really need to give Lin credit for is his ability to come across as totally neutral and friendly even though he himself has mixed feelings towards the person in question. And to reset his opinion in favor of the stranger if he finds his prejudice to be wrong later on. He said that her husband wouldn't be someone he would ever become friends with, but it was ok to chat a bit and that he was a nice acquaintance for some evenings or casual get-togethers as far as he is able to tell.
In general, I had a rough start into the weekend with a nice Saturday evening dinner but totally forgot to tend to my papers. Today we will visit my parents to prepare everything for our secret Santa this year and I won't really have some time on my hands as well. Oh yes, another small news: The parents of my BiL will move into the flat above us. Even greater agglomeration of family in the near future. *scratches head*
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.