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Old 12-02-2012, 02:39 AM
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Octovus Octovus is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Ottawa, ON, Canada
Posts: 8
Default Right On

Originally Posted by lovefromgirl View Post
I think you could easily keep envisioning years and decades. I always have, sometimes to the point of angst, but not because we're poly. More because we've got an age difference.
Folks, thanks so much for your words earlier. I would like to share an update. The above quote is on the money!

Things have evolved. The main man and I are stronger than ever, and more "together" than ever in our 4+ years. About 1 year in now, it's been amazing to see how poly can draw out what you have loved in each other AND show you new things to love, in each other and in others around you.

The other V end in my original post is now both somewhat more linked in to me, and somewhat less linked into my main man (my fiance). Why? I think it's a combination of the end of (the strongest) NRE, of new life circumstances, and of my fiance's reconsidering some of the "new" guy's qualities (this as the NRE wore off).

Certainly, new (well, year-old now) guy's perspective has also shifted, and he is more genuinely happy in the relationship than ever. At first, I think he felt cheated from a normal relationship. Now, he sees how poly is possible and what it can offer him. Now, we are all stable and happy. Seeing that growth has amazed and inspired me, and makes me love the not-so-new guy all the more (mainly as a friend, to date - I use the word "love" for friends, too).

What's more, we have a new (since Summer) fellow in our life, too! He has an amazing sense of humour and is so together about everything to do with poly. He has had many different relationship experiences, though not poly as such. He is so open to both my main guy and me (and to our first metamour above, for that matter, though they haven't connected romantically).

He comes from the perspective that the fiance-fiance relationship comes first, but that beyond that, he wants to share in whatever he can share in, and that he loves us both. The other day, because we were discussing the first metamour, he even made a joke (a real, belly-laugh joke) about how he'd never been the "fourth wheel" before. And it was actually funny, not full of resentment or barbs. Since clearly he doesn't feel like that, and we all know it.

All to say. We may have found a unicorn, here! Maybe it's not so hard to do, all of us being guys who are into guys - after all, we all enjoy mainly the same "bits" sex-wise :-p

I still feel incredibly grateful and/or, as the fiance and I have taken to saying, "deserving" of this new love. So long as we both keep acting in ways deserving of love, we'll keep on finding it in all kinds of places!

You know what else?

The unicorn lives across the street. We met on-line, chatted a bunch, then we exchanged addresses...and he lives across the street. (In a town with 1,000,000 people.)

What a ride this year has been. Sometimes it really is a small world...

Namaste, and thanks for reading. Reply or write to me if you fancy a chat :-)
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