Thank you for you response. I had been reading your story on here (prior to seeing your post), let me start by saying- I am so sorry for what you have gone through.
Neither of us have had any experience in poly- myself or bf and his wife. So this has all been trial by fire for sure. But the idea of this was hers- she brought it up to him. I guess they had discussed it in the past, and when she met me (bf and I were in school together, we were all out celebrating passing the tests from hell) she suggested that he bring it up to me.
I have always had a hard time communicating my needs in relationships, and I realize that communication is a key component in successful relationships, especially poly relationships. I have been working on it!
I am trying to get the courage to have a conversation with the bf- I do not believe that he is capable of fulfilling my needs in our relationship, due mainly to time and family commitments. He is just not available to me enough. So I want to have the discussion about me seeing other people, but I do not wish to give up our relationship. I love him, and the idea of losing him gives me such a pain in my chest- I do. It want to lose him.
I do not think he will be opposed to the idea, but am not sure. I do know that if I am allowed to seek to fulfill my needs with another partner, it will take a lot of pressure off of our situation!
Thank you all so much for your wisdom xoxox