Originally Posted by JonnyAce
unfortunately i'm not as good as you, and when people push me to do something i simply can't do, because it goes against my "inner guidance system" i just shut them out, and cut them off completely.
IMHO if someone is willing to totally disregard my boundaries then they can go to hell. sometimes if it's someone i care a great deal about i will try to reestablish the relationship (friends/family/etc.).
maybe someday i will be able to control this, but honestly it works for me, and i feel a weight lifted off my shoulders when i go through with it, as i don't take this action lightly, and only do this when i feel it's absolutely necessary.
Funny that, because to some degree what you describe is what I am hoping to be better about!
I have found that my life DOES go better when I just tell people "look this is what I have to do so if you don't like it-fuck off" and then quit being around them.
What I find difficult is that some people do make an effort IN GENERAL, but walking through the day to day particulars I tend to make allowances that frankly I don't think help either them or me.
The truth is I feel like I should look at them and say "NO I am NOT going to make these allowances for you, precisely BECAUSE they are based on YOUR insecurities. It's ABSURD of you to ask me to change because in fact this is YOUR issue, not mine and you need to work your ass off to fix it." I think that maybe by NOT being "such a bitch" about it-I allow them to find a comfort zone in the situation as it is, where as it's been well proven that if a person hits "rock bottom" (misery) they will do something to fix their shit more quickly and with less.... fighting against the progress...