Thread: Date advice
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Old 12-01-2012, 03:07 PM
Tampopo Tampopo is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3
Default Thanks for the input!

Hi guys, I appreciate the feedback, its easy to try and fool yourself to hold back on disclosing.

Anyways, I sent an email telling her that when I initially asked her for coffee, I was not sure of whether it was going to be a friend thing or something more than a platonic thing, but now because I sense its more than platonic, I told her I was married, I can only see women short terms and there are other rules if she wants to know more.

If she contacts back I'll explain the "sleep together once, but then it has to be a threesome with my wife".

Thanks for helping me stay transparent.

I was kind of shocked how strongly she came on because we haven't gone out yet and over the last month chatted once on the phone for 10 minutes and exchanged a couple of emails.

If you don't mind, could you give me advice on how to discuss this "one-night rule" with my wife or just share your experience?

Ideally, I would want to see women even up to having girlfriends. I don't just want to sleep with them, but also date them.

For me, ideally, I have a gf. For her, ideally our relationship is closed. We both thought this was a doable and a fair compromise.

My wife has said she can accept me being physically attracted and physically pursue other women, but doesn't want any emotions involved between the other women and I.

Basically, she says she is scared that I would develop feelings for someone else and leave her. She said in her personal experience that is how she operates.

I have explained that for me, its about a division between infatuation and love. Basically, I want to act on my infatuation with other women. For me, infatuation is 100% an emotional thing, while love is both emotional (but often more subtle as the chemicals have worn off) and a lot about choices and behaviour (choosing to build a life, commitment).

I have tried to explain to my wife that there is always going to be an emotional component when pursuing women - I am not looking to fuck a pretty robot with a nice pair of tits and a tight ass - there has to be some affection and general like of the woman too.

I try to explain that affection is not a finite resource for me - just because I have a crush or affection for someone else does not mean I have any less love for her.

Love to hear your comments and thanks for the advice. Don't have many immediate friends involved in this kind of thing, so its great to get advice from others who have experience in this,

Anyone been in this kind of debate?

Cheers
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