Thanks for all the response. He is making great efforts to be with me. She is moving out next week. They are separating. He has told his adult children about it as well.
He flew to see me this past weekend and we have a lovely amazing visit. However, when I asked him the other day how he is feeling about us, he said "as good as could be considering the problem of being in love with 2 women.". He said previously he loved her but not in love so this was a big surprise especially since she's moving out. I said this changes things and I asked how can he imagine it working out between us if he is still in love with her (Remember, she is not up for poly with us). He said you cant put a rating scale on love, and that he's going forward with me so that should be enough. That the fact she's moving out should prove something to me.
When I asked if he is still sleeping with her he got very upset and ran away to think.
Am I over-reacting? Should I be more understanding of his confusions? Or am I crazy to think I"m doomed with a man who seeks me out to reconcile with me after hurting me so bad, choosing me over his wife, telling me he isnt in love with her anymore, getting me back in love with him, and now after 4 months of moving forward slips that he's still in love with her??
Thanks for any input.