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Old 11-30-2012, 11:14 PM
irina irina is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 8
Default An Update.

I don't think this is going to work out.

It's been over a month and he hasn't agreed to set a date to talk about my concerns, even though I expressed it was important to me.

The only other thing this past month I've expressed as being important to me: sending him a two or three page article on how to be an ally after he mentioned he didn't know what rape culture was until he met me. It seemed pertinent and important so I asked him to read it.

I also mentioned that I have exams over the next two weeks and any support would be great (having a work night together, a little extra attention, just little stuff) and that doesn't seem to be happening either.

And so on.

At first I just thought I was feeling weird because I haven't been in a lot of Vees where I'm not the hinge, and because it was such a sudden change of situation. But I think I was feeling weird because he just doesn't give a sh**.


I just don't get why he claims to really care about me and gets upset that I'm upset but doesn't want to put any effort in other than spending money on me. Which is not what I want from a relationship. I want emotional support and/or respect and consideration...

I have a feeling that when I express this to him, he's going to go out of his way to make me feel better for a few days, and then lapse back into inattentiveness. I explained to him that it really bothers me that he doesn't listen when I say "this is important" unless I'm crying -- and it takes A LOT to get that emotional. At that point it's been going on so long and I'm so frustrated that it's almost unfixable. He's reactive instead of proactive in our relationship. Seems like he just goes around doing damage control.

Anyone been in similar situations? Any advice? I think the outcome is just going to be that we aren't going to date anymore (if we ever were other than in title), but I'm interested to hear any thoughts you might have.

Last edited by irina; 11-30-2012 at 11:18 PM.
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