Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
For me, it doesn't even have anything to do with my partner or protecting their honour. It's the simple fact that I would not choose to be in a relationship with anyone who trash talks other people, period. That's juvenile and intolerable. It's Mean Girls.
It's also a sign of low self-esteem. People who put others down are usually trying to bolster opinions of themselves. For me, it has the opposite effect.
I've reached a point in my life where I can afford to be extremely picky, and I am. I'm happy with most aspects of my situation, and I don't need to settle for anything less than healthy, well-adjusted, mature adults.
Plus, my partners are all really awesome. Anyone who trash talks them obviously has bad taste. Why would I want to date someone with bad taste? What does that say about me??
This is the most sensible, rational viewpoint I've read here. Of course!
I was also thinking of the question in the title of the thread - "what are your rules and tolerances?" If there has to be a rule set down about something like this, I would say that the people involved just aren't mature or well-adjusted enough to be in relationships. Not worth my time and energy to police anyone who should have the sense to know better than to talk that way or tolerate someone talking that way.