Hug. Sorry it caused you to go into a tailspin a bit with extended relatives. BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE.
At our house, we keep extended relatives probs at the front door. Put your own oxygen mask on first in your room, then that of the immediate family living in your house, and THEN we can talk about extended relatives and friends living outside of your house somewhere ELSE.
Sometimes "Family of Origin" has a hard time accepting that the NEW "immediate family" has changed for each player. It is NOT the Family of Origin plus some extra people joining called spouses and kids. That SOUNDS all cool and Brady Bunch, but that not the animal here.
The Family of Origin ENDED. New configuration now. Same players, new line up. New players too. It is now SEVERAL new clusters of "immediate family" coming together as the "Extended Multi-family Unit."
Your new immediate family is now a husband, wife, you. (And the kids and pets of course). But those are the adults. Don't throw in the towel on YOUR immediate family just because there's poopy extended relatives. We all have those.
We did have to start changing new family traditions when kid was born. We were no longer the "young adult couple who could be flexible for all" -- we had a new limit. A newborn's needs! People had to DEAL when we'd turn things down because NO... we would not drag the baby about like that!
And the holiday traditions will change again down the line -- my kid will grow up and leave home and maybe marry and have in laws to balance. What is life but change? Some people just ride it better than others.
Hang in there.
Last edited by GalaGirl; 11-30-2012 at 07:34 AM.