The other book I suggested Anne-doesn't have ANYTHING in it regarding the kink or other types of open relationships. It was suggested by a mono person as the book that was most helpful for him-it's an awesome intro to someone with NO CLUE.
The New Love Without Limits
by Dr. Deborah Anapol
San Rafael: IntiNet Resource Center, 1997
The original ground-breakingbook on responsible non-monogamy, first published in 1992; revised edition 1997. Brand new updated edition of the basic sourcebook on ethical alternatives to monogamy and the nuclear family. Draws on psychological, spiritual, and mythic knowledge from many traditions to provide a complete description of polyamory and how to practice it. Well organized, a good read, with new chapters on ethics and jealousy.