Originally Posted by nycindie
You can remain dissatisfied, seeing yourself as a martyr in your marriage, and viewing polyamory as a "snare and a delusion, a reckless indulgence that upends households, drains resources and lays waste to souls," if that is what you think is necessary to get through your misery. But many of us have found joy and challenges that have given us a way to fully express who we are through loving more than one.
Sheesh, couldn't you see I was only trying to offer a different perspective on things, as a way to be helpful? But since all your responses to me are nasty, smart-ass, nay-saying put-downs, I'm done. Go pick on someone else. Good luck.
Wow ... this got my attention . Had to go back and read all previous stuff.
A little let down ...I dont see the nasty smart-ass stuff but then again I'm a smart ass so I might be afraid to look into the mirror
but on the other hand it takes one to know one ...
I think in post #28 the comment " polyamory as a snare and a delusion, a reckless indulgence that upends households, drains resources and lays waste to souls" ... goes with out saying thats it's been his experience and is his opinion ....and I particularly liked the humor at the end of ...thought you should know.
Also there more than a few horror stories to back up what he's saying. And there are the success stories that make those blanket statements equally problematic.
Marriages, children, careers all have responsibilities tied to them, all have differently weighted meaning and all complicate our lives in different ways ...so at some point simple is a dream.
It looks like he's doing worst damage assessment. shit or shittier...shittiest. Not good vs bad.
I don't want the cheese anymore I just want to get out of the trap.
I was going to post on Anotherconfusted thread about her mono husband feeling resentful or bad being stuck with the kids during her weekend get always. His position was he was facilitating her rendezvous with her lover.
I think my kids were a bit older so that wasn't as big an issue BUT...I did always feel that my life and choices made her life and choices possible.
If your not out to your friends and family I would make some sort of contingency for accidents or illnesses they do happen ....It happened to me.
Whats your utopian dream ? Is it at all possible .... is slugging out for a couple more yrs part of that? I agree with cindie on selecting martyrdom as a strategy for a happy marriage....I don't see that working ...the frost and ice should get much thicker. Trust me life's too short to do it to yourself.
Good luck D