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Old 11-29-2012, 05:56 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by Andy4700 View Post
I like to think that its ok to offer to buy a girl a drink, coffee or dinner just because shes interesting/attractive, but asking seems to carry a stigma (in my head anyway) that you are single.
I think that if you're going to experiment with poly, you have to get over being held back by social stigma. Sure, there may be an assumption that you're single, but you're not responsible for the assumptions of others. And if you're poly, so that "not single" does not mean "not available," then I don't see any conflict.

If a kind and decent looking guy asks you out and offers to pick up the tab (just mentioning that so its clear only her time is being spent) just because he wants to explore you via conversation, is it a huge deal if it never leads to more than friendship? Would you feel angry and cheated if it turns out hes poly and has someone else special in his life?
As mentioned above, a poly forum probably isn't the best place to ask that. I would never feel angry or cheated if someone I went on a date with turned out to be poly and already with someone. It would be a relief, actually, because it means I don't have to explain my lifestyle.

I personally prefer to date people who are already in a significant relationship. I don't have time to be someone's One and Only, and I find that mono/single people are more likely to make higher demands on my time than people who have someone else.

Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
So if you came up to me and asked to buy me a drink without knowing me at all, I'd probably politely turn you down. Chat with me, get to know me a bit, THEN offer to buy me a drink will likely get much better results.
I've never had the problem of being "too popular" so I would probably accept the free drink, just for the company. And, well, I like free stuff. Just don't get all indignant if buying me a free drink doesn't get you a ticket into my pants.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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