Originally Posted by hyperskeptic
Well, as long as it's really just about "managing . . . relationships" in a way that will "satisfy" you and help you avoid causing pain [to yourself?], I suppose it really would be simple.
I never said that I manage my relationships in a way that will help me to avoid pain. I don't avoid pain. I know it helps us grow, but I don't seek it out if there are other ways to personal growth. If living my life polyamorously only brings pain and not much fulfillment, it isn't worth pursuing. Why be steeped in something that makes us miserable?
You can remain dissatisfied, seeing yourself as a martyr in your marriage, and viewing polyamory as a "snare and a delusion, a reckless indulgence that upends households, drains resources and lays waste to souls," if that is what you think is necessary to get through your misery. But many of us have found joy and challenges that have given us a way to fully express who we are through loving more than one.
Sheesh, couldn't you see I was only trying to offer a different perspective on things, as a way to be helpful? But since all your responses to me are nasty, smart-ass, nay-saying put-downs, I'm done. Go pick on someone else. Good luck.