View Single Post
Old 12-26-2009, 10:38 PM
nikkiana's Avatar
nikkiana nikkiana is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 164

I sorta feel like this thread has gone a really interesting direction... when I think of a DADT policy in terms of an open relationship, my automatic thought is situations where no information or very very little information is shared about metamours to other metamours.... Like, situations where there's an open relationship but the partners involved don't want to know if their partner is involved with someone much less who or to what extent.... and that's the sort of situation that I find unhealthy, and the situation that comes to mine when someone says "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".

That said, what do I personally try to negotiate for? At bare minimum, I like to know names of who my loves are involved with, I like to hear some base information on who they are and what their interests are, if they look to be someone who's going to be around for awhile I like to meet them... As far as any sort of sexual involvement, the only information I feel I need to know is whether they are or aren't actively sexually involved... I don't need to know the whens or hows, though I honestly don't mind if it's shared (I personally love to talk about sex in general, so I do enjoy conversations about sex life... but I don't consider these conversations to be a vital part of being functionally poly).
Reply With Quote