Hello! I'm OrangeCream, and I'll probably just mull about the forums, reading, and stalking!
Uh, I guess I'm supposed to talk about my relationship here...
Uh, I've been with my boyfriend in a mono relationship for almost 2 years, and I love him, and our relationship. Being together with him is one of the most enjoyable things I have ever done, and I think our relationship is going great outside of general stresses of being a newly on your own couple. (We got our first apartment roughly 4 months ago... Stressful!) I feel like in another 60 years, we'd still be together and still be enjoying one another.
However, the two of us have drastically different working hours, and I find that most of the time I'm tired, or he's tired and we don't have the energy to have sex, go on dates, or do fun things. On the other hand I feel tremendous sexual attraction to my friend, and he always has the same general work schedule as me, and wants to do the same things I want to do during the times I have open.
I'm not entirely sure if this is poly or not, but I want to keep my relationship with my boyfriend, but I also want a relationship with this other person. I don't know if I'd date him, or feel anything outside of friendship love and sexual frustration, but I want to go out to movies with him, hang out on a couch in front of his TV, have a few drinks and maybe have some casual sex once in a while.
I also feel like he should go on dates with other women, and have casual sex too, but I think he's too insecure with himself and our relationship for something like this. I like the idea of him dating other people, it turns me on, and looks like it would be a lot of fun for him, seeing as I'm his first serious relationship.
I'm not sure how to bring something like this up. I tried earlier, and brought it up in a terribly bad way, and regret that, but I don't regret speaking up about my sexual feelings. I feel like because of my young age, I'm missing out on a lot of things in life by being in a serious, strict monogamous relationship, but I enjoy being with him. The times that we do together are amazing, and I don't want to lose him, but I fear that my promiscuity will cause him to leave, even though he thinks that it'll cause me to leave him.