View Single Post
  #36  
Old 11-28-2012, 07:56 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,794
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
If you think this can be simple, I can only assume you're not really paying attention.
Don't assume anything about me. It is simple: we have choices to make, and we choose. We can choose or not to accept others' terms, we can choose or not to look inward and question our reactions to things, we can choose or not to continue in relationships where we are unhappy.

No, poly is not always easy, but I see it as simple. All it is, is managing multiple relationships and treating others the way we want to be treated. That you do not see it as simple does not invalidate my viewpoint or prove that I am not "paying attention." I am introspective and analytical to a fault. I constantly look around me and assess what's going on all the time. I have worked hard on my changing my perspective, and my expectations, and to see others' perspectives as equally valid, and most especially, to love unconditionally and without attachment to an outcome. This is what I do to practice polyamory. Yes, I say the choices are simple, but the work is sometimes hard and challenging. If it does not satisfy me to practice poly, with my "simple" approach, I won't. I won't complicate my life and muck things up with other people to prove anything or just to "be poly." It isn't worth it if it brings only pain. Yes, that is simple, to me.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 11-28-2012 at 07:58 PM.
Reply With Quote