Gala Girl, and Nycindie,
My relationship with my husband isn't a bad one by any means. We openly discuss everything about our relationship. There are problems, but no more than any other average marriage out there.
When I say that he is satisfied, and I am not, I am saying that he feels complete with loving me and only me. I find that I make connections with other people, and have not yet pursued anything.
I was raised Mormon, and polyamory is so far from how I was raised that I didn't even know anything about it until my late 20's. I feel that it helped me explain certain things about who I am and what makes me feel happy.
I grew up feeling dirty, unclean, and bad for wanting more than one thing at a time. My Dad asked me why couldn't I just feel content with a good man, kids, and a good home. Its hard to explain that I feel something is missing, and I was hoping that I would find others here that might understand.
My husband doesn't have the same feelings as I do, but he also wants me to do what will make me ultimately happy. I believe that with honesty about this with myself and my husband we can stay happily married, but I fear that if I was to keep that want closeted that ultimately it would destroy my marriage, and damage me.