Originally Posted by AnotherConfused
I guess I don't really see any option that isn't going to be sad. Our lives are intertwined, after almost 15 years together. We support each other. We are a family, with our daughters. We have worked hard to remodel, landscape, and create a home that reflects our joint desires. There is so much that we would lose if we parted ways, the grief would be enormous. The impact on our daughters would be devastating. We really do love most things about the life we have created with each other.
I think the least painful path is to keep looking for the best compromise between his mono dreams and my poly ones. I was hoping we had found something that could work, but now it isn't working, and we have to try again.
Do you realize most or many of your past descriptions of your relationship with your husband center on the longevity and friendship and material stuff. The house ...decor choices or similar taste in decorating ... investment in landscaping. Are you consciously or unconsciously phrasing it this way? Love is never high on the list or mentioned ....or at least in regards to him. ( Disclaimer ...I haven't gone back and read every thread and post ...going from memory and this thread) I do invite the fact checkers....not that I have to
ARE YOU in love with him ?
Is he in love with you ?
If you didn't have the kids or the house what would each of you do ? I think you should both play out this hypothetical in therapy.