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Old 12-26-2009, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I personally don't spend ANY time "comparing" my men, and I don't share things to appease their desire to do so (not saying that they do desire to, just making a point). I would and have shut down conversation before IMMEDIATELY when I got the impression that information was being requested for the purpose of comparing or competing.

But I do like knowing that I CAN tell GG "OMG last night Maca did......... and OMG it was SO FUCKING AWESOME" or (as I have said often) "OMG Maca is SO fucking amazing when he goes down, I can't fathom why women aren't standing in line."
GG is confident in his own strengths and he just finds it amusing. He isn't sitting there asking "well what exactly does he do.." because he doesn't NEED or WANT to BE Maca. He knows that I love things he does for how HE does them and he knows I love things Maca does for how Maca does them....
This is really interesting. It kind of touches on something that this guy I'm getting involved with wrote about. He wrote a great post about why he thinks it's a good thing to compare different partners. I've found experiencing his perspective on it to be pretty refreshing. He sums it up really nicely in the conclusion to his post (I bolded the part I really like):

When you compare your lovers, when you notice the similarities and differences between your lovers--this is a necessary and inevitable consequence of seeing your lovers. Not as faceless, interchangeable units, but as human beings. You can not know a person, not in any meaningful way, without noticing those things that make that person unique.

It's not about comparing them on a stepladder to figure out which one is "best"--lessee, Gina gets four points for loving dogs, 'cause dogs are cool; joreth gets six bonus points because she hates the novel Stranger in a Strange Land, and I don't like it either1--and the one with the most points wins. 'Cause, y'know, the one with the most points is the best one.

Instead, it's about seeing each of my partners for exactly who she is. When you do that, you see that each person is someone who adds value to your life--value that any other person can't.

And that, my friends, is awesome.
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