It may seem like he has "control" but really I don't feel that way at all, I am the one who brought up the idea more than he did. I would like a bf, BUT I don't want my fwb to be my bf. I like our relationship the way it is, and I really have no desire to be with him on my own. If he was someone else, or I met someone else I was more interested in, then it might be different. Husband has not said NEVER, he just knows he has too many insecurities right now to feel comfortable with me having a bf away from him. It would end up making us both miserable.
I didn't realize that the idea of not meeting someone new was an issue with me until it happened, so there wasn't much I could do about it by then. it happened, then my feelings happened. It wasn't something that I felt uncomfortable with, then he did it anyway.