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Old 11-27-2012, 08:16 PM
Daysleeper Daysleeper is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 21
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If you want to start having sex again, I would think about a few things.

1) Timing. If his timing doesn't work for you, then you should initiate or schedule sex when it is more likely to work for you. Pick a time that is calm and gives you plenty of room.

2) Pain. Try to find acts that don't hurt or change things slightly to avoid pain. For example, engage in oral sex, use lube with intercourse, grope each other like you're in high school. It is possible to find things that will not hurt, but it will take patience and creativity. It took a few years for me to find what worked for me.

3) Drive. Try to engage in something that relaxes you. If you can relax, you may find yourself much more physically receptive. Focus on enjoying the sensation rather than trying to become turned on. On the flip side, fantasy can help.

4). Forgiveness. Have you forgiven him for how he behaved from October until July? Maybe you should talk to Him about his behavior. If he is still behaving in ways that upset you, discuss those specific behaviors with him.

My other advice is to masturbate if you don't already. It helps you return to the sensation of pleasure and find out what triggers your pain in a pressure-free environment.
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