I'm a jumble of emotions right now and I need to put it down where I can look at it later and sort it out.
I have no idea where to start.
I'm mourning the loss of a possible future with R. I guess I always knew it was a long shot, but now that I know it will never happen, I'm sad about it.
I'm hoping that time will heal those wounds and allow us to be continue to be close friends, but part of me thinks or maybe knows things will never be the same again.
I think I'm falling for V, but Im scared. I dont want to be burned like I was with F and T. I allowed myself to love them too early and it came back to bite me. John pointed out that V and I have actually gone slowly, and the first month of our official relationship was only txt and phone calls because I was back home visiting. You get to know a person well when there is no physical to get in the way, he pointed out. I think he's right, but I'm not sure how to approach the subject of how I feel to V. John thinks I should be blunt, which is how I got V to begin with, but I know that it really caught him off guard and I'm not sure how he felt about it. I knew he wanted to be with me though, so it was easier. I guess I'm afraid that he's not to the same point I am. Not that I expect or even want him to be, just I'm afraid that I'll scare him away. I dont want him to feel like I'm putting him on the spot and I'm not sure how to address that with him.
- another thing for the main boards I think.
- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
John (Juntas)- husband
M - John's girlfriend