I want harmony, but I really feel we should wait awhile before spending large amounts of money on her and/or inviting her to live with us. Any advice on how to communicate that to my nre-stricken husband?
It looks like you have done that already, and he is just insisting on letting his dick do the thinking for him.
You probably don't like that answer^^, but in fact I am agreeing with you. Just wait a little while, and other forum members will be along to dissect your post and give you point-by-point advice.