anything that helps you get through it, helps you get through it
I wish the world and everyone in it were either "awake" or respectful but it isn't quite there yet. So as far as keeping your secret, the responsible thing to do is keep it unless all involved make the decision to quit trying to hide it. There are many people who subscribe to the point of view which when parsed down to the black and white right or wrong with no space in between gives you the right to come clean for yourself.
But I strongly believe under most situations that is a copt out. You have the right to out only yourself, but need to allow others to keep their choice as theirs. I strongly believe it is nobody's right to out another person against their wishes as that is their decision alone to make regardless of how it changes their life. Even if doing so means your other ends up getting a better job for more pay and everyone that had a problem with him before suddenly thinks the world of him, even if out in the open has the effect of being better for him in every way possible outing him against his wishes is wrong.
It's wrong because it's his secret, just as yours is yours. But the responsible thing to do is honor that it is a decision that belongs to each of you and nobody else. I have witnessed all kinds of rationalizations people tell themselves to justify outing another as acceptable but never have I heard of one that was worthy of being an OK thing to do.
Everyone deserves their right to privacy, but not everyone respects that right which is exactly why it is so important to be wise in choosing who you surround yourself with. I understand hell hath no furry like a scorned lover, but that is not true because that furry is only exhibited by a person who does not understand the meaning of Love. Hell have no furry like that of a scorned student who failed the test of understanding the meaning of Love.
Between consenting adults, there is never a time that truth is OK to use as a weapon. All of this is likely a moot point because it sounds like you have chosen to honor your obligation of respect of the private lives of others (even when you are a part of their private life) So just to be clear, it is never a choice in terms of right and wrong when it comes to other people's privacy.
As far as dealing with the issues of honoring your obligation if they choose to remain private, rest assured that good relationships typically result in the secret being the fun part.
It makes your relationship exciting and can elevate the feel of passion. The hard part is doing the right thing when you feel you have been wronged, but I strongly feel that vengeance when it comes to these matters is always wrong. While many will claim that vengeance serves Justice, I have never personally witnessed a situation where that was the case.
I apologize for my solemn tone that may even be off topic, but I felt it is an important issue. And congratulations of being able to experience the joys you described, it sounds as if you know first hand the potential rewards that friendships can bring people in this life.
Last edited by Dirtclustit; 11-27-2012 at 12:29 PM.