2 of our experiences
Years ago we were looking to get into a poly relationship and thought we had found the perfect person. Problem is, we didn't know her as well as we thought we did. Months of courting and getting to know each other went by. Our children spent as much time together as we did. On the surface it looked to be the makings of one big happy family. Then things went horribly wrong. Jealousy was a problem from one, confusion from another and lack of commitment from the third. When everything was over there was a lot of hard feelings and sorrow. Jumping right into things is not what we found to be the problem, lack of communication, honesty and flexibility was. It was as if we were trying to make a poly relationship where everyone cared as deeply as the other from mid air. Obviously that didn't work for us.
Jumping ahead 5 years later, we are in one again. Much differently this time. Our third is an ex boyfriend from years ago that has come back into her life and accepts the fact he will not be the only man she is in love with. With that being said, L never actually fell out of love with him, she just moved on and couldn't be more thrilled to have him back in her life. There will be alot of work and effort, mostly from her to make sure we both get the attention we need, and a lot from me to make sure her attention to him does not interfere with our love.so far so good on all accounts. With the experience to know when all accounts are not good a discussion on how to make it better needs to happen, we will do fine. With that comes a willingness to search for a compromise that fulfills everyone's needs.
in short, building on an existing relationship has worked out much better than building one from scratch.
Hows that for not a one liner?
Bet ya can't love just one!