Wow, what the heck. I'm on fetlife and so is my girlfriend, her husband, and many of our poly friends. Why people who are part of one community that deals with sex/love in an alternative way but that focuses above all on consent would shun members of another community that deals with sex/love in an alternative way but that focus above all on consent, is beyond me. Your friend in no way speaks for the entire kink community, and frankly was being a jerk.
Send him to www.morethantwo.com
if he wants a good explanation of how someone can give two people "100%".
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.