Originally Posted by SunflowerHoney
This is kind of awkward for him and I don't really know how to go about it. Does anyone have any advice or experience with this particular issue? Did they email, talk on the phone, meet in person?
Welcome to the forum, Sunflower!
Poly is a minefield at first; so don't be embarrassed about asking questions. That's how we learn, isn't it?
I've been poly for 2 years and I'm still a baby to it really! In fact, I'm off to ask my own probably stupid question in a minute... ~grins~
You've definitely had some great advice from the others here and it's great that you're listening to it.
If you want some extra personal experience, yes - I definitely agree that it's a brilliant sign that this guy wants your husband's ok. Asking him, as others have suggested, is the best way to find out.
In our poly V, we like to meet potential secondaries before sex happens. Huge bonus points if they actively want to meet us, too. Meeting, for us, can be in person, or online, and depends on our feelings about the new person. For example, one guy who wanted to date my girlfriend was very, very experienced in poly, had a primary partner, and seemed totally clued up - all I wanted from him was a couple of emails on FetLife introducing himself. Another guy who wanted to date my girlfriend was only going to be in town for a few days and wanted a quick fling. She didn't want it in the end - but I would have been ok to give my emotional green light without hearing anything from him. If she gets involved with someone I'm really not keen on, I either never want to meet them and just let her do her thing, or I really want to meet them and suss them out. Hopefully you guys can figure out what works for you!