Ok. Get comfy. Sparkle...yes. U got the previous living arrangements correct. When i say i feel neglected he says he is sorry, that he doesn't mean for me to feel like that. He knows we dont get much time together and wishes our schedules would allow more. My job makes it very hard at times.
I haven't wrote it down but have made mental notes. But i will from now on.
I eant the same as u. Im primary. Treat me like it. I use primary for a REASON. Because i am and will not settle for less.
I tried again last night to see his feelings for her. He vows there is no romantic feelings at all. Only close friendship. He cares for her...but not in that way. He would tell me otherwise.
On ur multiple choice options...both C and D are accurate. She is very needy and he feels sorry for her sometimes. But he is not at her house much ever. She is always at ours.
I said if it doesnt change i will call it off. Other than making me face my demons and my want for personal growth...i get nothing from it. So i dont care.
I have brought up a schedule before. But our lives are very hectic and schedules aleays fail. We just kinda go with the flow. But limits as to when she is over is a definite. Also...schedules are too restrictive to him. Nobody will tell him when he can and cannot spend time with his wife. And if he doesnt feel like seeing her on a particular day...he will tell her to stay home. My job keeps me late sometimes...and if our scheduled time was cancelled because of my job...he would not be happy keeping a scheduled day with her. Its complicated...but makes sense. To me anyway. Lol. The problem is that even though shes his "gf"...shes also a friend. And since all of her previous friends were through her ex husband...we are literally her only friends now.
And yes...he IS bending over too far. I made it a point to say that she will now EXPECT him to fulfill her emotional needs as well and wasnt sure he was aware of that. The look on his face said he wasnt. I said i dont know if he understands how hard that will be...if hes willing to do that...to have to emotionally keep two women happy. He said he will listen if she needs to talk...as he always has...and be there as a friend...as he always has...but his only emotional concern and obligation is to me...that i am the one he is worried about making happy. He said this with her wont last forever...and when its run wutever course it does...im still the one hes married to and in love with. And hes not concerned about whether that pisses anyone else off or not. I know that sounds terrible...but im rephrasing with the cliff notes version.
So thats it. I understand shes lonely and wants to do stuff with us and be around us. I just cant be mean.And neither can he.
Loving...i LUV the "IF that doesn't get disrupted" clause. Very nice.
Hope y'all arent asleep. Lol.
And if it were up to me with he schedule...i would have every day of the year. Lol. Im greedy. And not ashamed to admit it.
Last edited by nurseypoo1; 11-26-2012 at 06:15 PM.