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Old 11-26-2012, 09:17 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

So things that would drive me bonkers about the situation aside - I see one thing you talk about that comes up a lot for people. It seems $ is a sticking point (is for me too, Adam works, I don't, dating, budget, limits, justifying paying to go out on dates when I don't have a job, all are on my mind).

You are working, he works but not at a paying job. In any marriage where this is the case, people will recommend that the non job having person have an allowance, or a discretionary budget of their own to manage, preferably in a separate account so they can spend it as they like - dating, hobbies, indulgences. If Airyn had that, and you let go of managing his spending around dates as long as he's pulling from that set aside money, do you think he is capable of managing his dating through that? If he has $X, he should be able to figure out if he can afford to go out or not. If he wants to blow a months "allowance" the first week by indulging in taking out Chipmunk, then its really on them to eat at home the rest of the month, and it wont be up to you to TELL him that, because it will be obvious to him when his bank account is empty.

I will add that a discussion about fairness and what will work realistically for you both should accompany that, usually if both of you have the same budget for dating that sits best with both parties, as it isn't really fair if you prefer to work and have him stay home, but want to spend $100 a week going out while he only gets $25, unless it's agreed that it makes sense due to the situation, so on and so forth.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 11-26-2012 at 09:20 AM.
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