Airyn has been a stay-at-home father for the majority of Wolf's life. The first year he and I both worked for a time, and it was decided that I was better suited to work and he to the stay-at-home parental role.
Then we moved out of the city for a few years, Airyn was still the Stay-at-home parent. When we moved back I was feeling burnt out and Asked Airyn to work, and allow me to be the stay-at home parent for a time. We agreed, he found work, and I tried to stay home. It didn't work I am not Suzy home maker, and I was not comfortable at home on my own. I couldn't just stay home I was always out doing things even if it was just going for a walk, or window shopping. Either way I avoided being at home. Eventually I started looking for part-time employment (with Airyn's blessing).
Not long after finding a part-time position I landed the job I have now. Ever since it has been a joke between Airyn and I that I can't stay home. It just doesn't work for me. So I got my current job and Airyn came home to take care of the house, and kid. This was about 9 years ago.
Fast foreward to today.
Airyn is a stay-at-home parent when we meet Chipmunk.
Airyn is a stay-at-home parent when we start dating Chipmunk (as a couple).
Airyn is a stay-at-home parent when Chipmunk moved in with us.
Airyn is a stay-at-home parent when Chipmunk and I end our attempts at dating or being intimate at all.
Airyn is still a stay-at-home parent.
So it's now two month or maybe closer to three months after I broke up with Chipmunk. I'm meeting other bisexual (married) women, and making friends who can relate to how I work as a bisexual women. Airyn and Chipmunk are still dating. Airyn and I helped Chipmunk get a better job closer to home. She now makes more money then she did when we meet her, and is spending less on gas to get to work. She still does not have a car, and has not started saving for one.
My issue with Airyn always offering/being required to pay for part of every outing he goes on with Chipmunk is this. I am not dating Chipmunk, but I am still paying to date Chipmunk. I'm ok with the occasional outing Airyn offering to pay, but every time? No. If Chipmunk is taking him out to eat for his Birthday then she should be taking him out to eat for his birthday, and not be expecting him to pay (or me to pay).
Airyn is upset that I have begun to point out that he has no money of his own to go out with Chipmunk. So I pointed out that he has been going out with Chipmunk, and that that has been another extra expense that I have to pay for since she moved in. He says, "there you are again, You paying, not us, not me. This is why I'm looking for a job again." Me, "But I don't get to see you now, we have very little time together, and now your getting a job?"
Then I explain that this month he has gone out to places with just Chipmunk, has paid for part of every outing except the one for his birthday, and he and I have not gotten to go out. He say that it is cheaper for he and Chipmunk to go out because she pays for part of it too. Ok, but if he had gone out with Chipmunk less often, or had paid less often, then he and I could have taken that and gone out just US. I pointed out that he is spending more to go out with just Chipmunk, then I am to go out with the two ladies I have met.
This didn't go very far for me. I end up telling him that I feel he would rather spend his time and attention with/on Chipmunk. He tells me that I'm not giving him credit for trying to let go of his upset with Chipmunk on OUR day/evening and him still trying to have a good time with just me. He is saying this because I pointed out how last Friday went (not his Birthday, but the previous weekend). We had 3 good hours together, then an intermission where Airyn is running off to see Chipmunk on OUR day. Then three more good hours together, and another intermission. This second intermission Airyn goes to pick up Chipmunk, finds out that she's going to a strip club with her girl friend (who is dating another lady). He gets stressed, upset, and feels disrespected by Chipmunk. Airyn and i talk about it, and by the time we get home from dropping Chipmunk off at this strip club, he's more calm. Still stressed. We go back to watching our movies, but there is no actual snuggling, cuddling, or sexual intimacy. Laying across my Knees is not cuddling or sexy. Then we get sleepy and he rolls over and offer no snuggling or the suggestion of sex and intimacy. I told him that he has pointed out that no matter how tired he is sex is always an option for him, just not with me. That he can have a stressful day with Chipmunk, and cuddle and make out with her under the covers. Making out till she's hot and bother while I'm in the room. I tell him I can hear and see, I know what's going on when I'm in the room. That these things are why I feel he'd prefer to spend his time with Chipmunk. That I was very upset that my first chance to have just 6 hours uninterrupted by Chipmunk was cut off. He says he had a good time. And I tell him that he made it clear he was happy to be picking Chipmunk up early that day. That Chipmunk got what she wants this weekend, and I didn't.
I tell him to come over here and hold me, and tell him that this morning (Sunday) Was the first time we had gotten to cuddle all weekend. I tell him that I missed him Saturday. He tells me that I was out a long time.
He's also telling me that Chipmunk can't help that she is sick, that she's not faking or being malicious. Whatever why should I care if she's sick? She's supposed to go to work Sunday evening, She's spent most of the day in bed sleeping, feeling ill, coughing, ect. She gets up about 2 hours before she has to be to work and take a HOT shower. I've been telling both of them for two months that you take a luke warm shower when you are feverish. She gets out of the shower and feel like crap, Airyn takes her temp and tells me it's 102. I tell him what of course she just took a hot shower. I can only give her advice, if she doesn't take it i have NO sympathy. He tells me she didn't know she was feverish she didn't check first. HELLO she's been in bed ALL day. Where is the logic? The common sense here? If I'm feeling like crap I'm not taking a HOT shower. If I'm sick I'm not taking a HOT shower and making myself feel worse. Airyn doesn't do that to himself either.
She was OK enough to go out for dinner a drink, and walking in the very chilly night Saturday. Why is she surprised that she feels worse the next day? I'm not. Airyn tells me that she didn't drink more then 2 or 3 sips of a margarita, and that that very little alcohol, and that they were only outside for a few minutes.
So there's more talking about this in my near future. I don't want him working if it is going to further reduce the time he has to spend with just me. I don't want him working if the point is so he can take Chipmunk out on dates. But I can't get him to say what his intentions are other then so that he can spend money on his expensive hobbies; Photography, Computers, and now Jewelry making.
Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).
No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.
Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married