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Old 11-26-2012, 03:13 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Originally Posted by LilacViolin View Post
Lol, crickets.
S/he that can have patience can have what he will. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Originally Posted by LilacViolin View Post
**Disclaimer: I am sick with a fever, and I think it makes sense but I'm not absolutely sure.**
Sorry to hear you're sick :P that sucks

Originally Posted by LilacViolin View Post
The uncertainty continues...
for me, I have discovered that there is only more uncertainty, and I have spent time building my capacity to live with it. This has resulted in more ease and comfort (for me).

Originally Posted by LilacViolin View Post
At first Rose said that I needed to be only her best friend because of how rocky our relationship has been. Now, with processing on her part and open communication, she has told me that this time is about her figuring things out with in her heart and her head rather than us focusing on our relationship. (I had another thread about being in the Friend Zone and now I'm not sure that is the truth. I'm not sure that we will be anything more than friends. I'm just not sure.)
This is strange to me, I gotta say. I've read it a bunch. It's good she's processing, and it's good she's engaging in open communication. But it doesn't seem to do much to help you, comfort you, or provide you any clarity.

Originally Posted by LilacViolin View Post
I miss what we had. We have a healthier relationship, truly, but I miss the good of what we had. I'm horrible at being patient. I'm anxious and sad. I'm having a hard time realizing it has just been a week since she saw Orchid. Surely it takes longer than a week to move from having a secondary to having a primary and a secondary. Right? Am I being naive?
How would that be naive? I don't understand what naivete has to do with it. It seems as if you're saying it would take longer than a week, but you're not saying something has come to a conclusion. Are you?

I made the move from sort of being one's girlfriend to being the girlfriend of two in what felt like a minute. It was a few short weeks, or less. But we don't have the primary/secondary thing going on, so I can't really speak to that.

Originally Posted by LilacViolin View Post
If things don't work out with Rose, even with just friendship, I do not want to date anyone right now.
That seems reasonable, but it sounds lonely.

Originally Posted by LilacViolin View Post
What do you think? Do I give up on all of this? Two years of relationship, including really good friendship (including our kids playing together, shared friendships.) On the other hand, will it be a painful time until she moves to live near Orchid, to just be friends? I should add that, while I will be sad when Rose moves, I fully think it is the best thing for her and completely support her.
Why would you give up? What is 'all this'? Will it bring you less pain? Sounds like suck and suckage, and you have to choose which sucks less, OR choose what will bring you round to happiness in the long run. Feelings are much like the weather (as GalaGirl so lovingly points out so often). Keep breathing, your feelings will change.

[QUOTE=LilacViolin;168761] Rose has said that she that part of her thought process is that she feels like a hypocrite being with me while she feels jealous of Orchid's relationships. [QUOTE]

This I don't understand at all. People don't do poly perfectly. Poly is not about not feeling jealousy. Poly is all about what you do with the feelings. Depriving yourself of feeling good because you don't yet have compersion is just silly (to me).
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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