Originally Posted by AlixDomme
Thanks for your response. I found it very helpful. To answer questions, no she doesnt have (or want) additional relationships. She hasnt dated since her divorce 4-5 yrs ago and two new partners is enough for her now. Yes my husband is my primary and I am his, and gf is secondary. Gf knows this and is glad bc that's less attention on her. Yes there is a good chance she doesnt want to be close bc she was soooo hurt in her marriage. She admits she has a lot to process about her divorce that she did not process in the past few years so she definitely has some issues from that.
I'm glad you found my response helpful
Ahh... it sounds to me then, that she is basically trying to say that she wants a relationship with the two of you, but nothing too 'heavy', because she has issues to work through.
I'd suggest giving her time to work through those issues, rather than trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, so to speak. Relationships can change into all sorts of things and perhaps down the road, with a little space right now, she'll want to become closer.
In the meantime, yes, I'd definitely have a chat about dating other people, if that is what you feel you need.