Hi and welcome .
On #1 ....this might be difficult because we all process these things from our own prospective and understanding and how one defines love. Also sometimes there is a 'better'. We all know there are going to be people who are stronger or more fit, funnier, smarter, better lover, more emotionally available or sensitive, etc ,etc, etc which are elements to attraction and connection which then get lumped under the umbrella of love. And if this has been his experience while dating or swinging it might be difficult to argue. And the idea of quantitative love supports his side of the argument.
If and when role are reversed how would you want to be reassured that he loves you most ? Maybe work backwards from there.
Id say the biggest thing is have your words match your actions. NRE can fog things up.
# 2 I'd let that progress naturally and when the right moment presented itself I'd be honest.
# 3 I don't have a clue ....I dont think it would work for me but to each hie or her own.
Last edited by dingedheart; 11-25-2012 at 01:11 AM.