Thread: Are You "Out"?
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:42 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post
Or reply with something useful, then go the extra mile and make the helpful suggestion of previous threads at the end of your tailored advice.

People will come to this forum because they are new to polyamory. People who are new to polyamory WILL be wondering how to cope with jealousy. People who are at any stage of polyamory WILL sometimes want some interaction... not just to read reams and reams of old threads. People won't even necessarily know how to use the search facility - it's not exactly prominent. In fact, I find it quite shit

The Golden Nuggets are extremely useful, as is trawling through other older posts. But sometimes a person just needs a sense of community.

If nobody posted anything new and just read through old posts, there wouldn't be the sense of community that exists here.
I totally agree with this and have said something similar before, but I feel like you put it better.

In that vein, there's also How "out" are you as poly, really? And why?, which I've quite enjoyed reading.

I'm out about being agnostic. I'm mostly out about being bi (I'm really pan, but I don't get into that whole explanation for most conversations). Being out about my sexuality is a little complicated, since over 15 years ago I promised my mom that I would not "come out" to my extended family while my grandparents were living. Since I lost my last grandparent in August, I haven't done any deliberate "coming out", since I don't feel the need to rub anyone's nose in it, but I'm done hiding it. It just hasn't come up much. They already know I'm an LGBTQ rights advocate, so either they figure I'm not straight and are ignoring it, or it hasn't occurred to them to question since I'm married to a male.

As far as being poly goes, everyone is aware that TGIB is part of my life. Family members (except for my sister and a few select cousins) think he's a close family friend to me and MC or my best friend. Which is true, but doesn't tell the whole story. However, right now I don't feel like them knowing we sleep together would accomplish anything. He's long distance at the moment, and when we live closer or he lives with us he'll be included in as much of my family stuff as he wants to be, and my family can either accept that we consider him part of our family or not. They still don't technically NEED to know about the sexual relationship, though it would make the kissing/cuddling boundaries disappear, which would be nice! I do plan on coming out to my family at some point, though, because eventually my kids will be old enough to figure out what's going on, and I won't lie to my kids, nor will I put them in a position to feel like they need to lie or hide things from their family members. My friends all know, 'cause I feel if you can't be your true self around your friends they aren't really *your* friends, if you see what I mean. They're friends with the person they THINK you are.

Slightly off-topic, Faux, may I ask what the purpose is for putting an asterisk after trans? I noticed you did that a couple times but I'm not sure what it means. Thanks!
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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