Interesting. I never approached being open/poly as something "we" did or were, probably because MC is (mostly) mono. However, since we do have the years of marriage and the kids, house, shared bank accounts, etc there is still a lot of "we" in my thinking. I definitely try to approach anything that affects both of us or our family as a team, and I think MC does too. But now, I'm part of another "we" with TGIB. It's been complicated trying to balance what's best for me and MC versus what's best for me and TGIB. They aren't always the same thing, but thankfully they are both VERY supportive of my relationship with the other and everyone tries to do their best to find a middle ground. TGIB, especially, is still working on the idea of being part of a team and working together (he has a history of dysfunctional relationships, starting with his family).
Maybe eventually I'll get to a point where I'm thinking more in terms of solely what I need for myself, but especially with small children, that time is not now!
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack