View Single Post
Old 12-26-2009, 03:04 PM
ladyjools's Avatar
ladyjools ladyjools is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 175
Default looking for some advice on how to handle my parents

I have always been openly Poly,
My Mum and Step Dad know that i have other partners and so does Montianboy. Everyone in my life knows that I am poly I refuse to make it a secret or something taboo.

I know that my Mum doesn't aprove of this lifestyle. It bothers her a lot and we end up often having the same debate over and over again, she does not let it drop. I try to answer all her questions openly and honestly, put any fears she has to rest. I've given her links to helpful rerources to help her understand polyamory. "I've explained it to her in the sense that this is how i am living my life i don't expect you to do the same but I want for you to accept that this is how we live"

She has never met any of my other partners before because none of them have been serious enough that i felt they where going to work out long term however that has changed. With R things are more serious, this is something we are wanting to become long term. In a few months he is moving in with us and i feel that this would be the right time for my family to meet him. He is, and is going to remain a big part of my life it feels natural that my Mum especally should at the very least meet him.

She has decided though that she won't meet him and infact would rather not aknowladge him at all except when debating the wrongs of polyamory with me

Long term i dont see this working,
im not sure how she is going to deal with him living here, she could easily run into him if she visits, or comes to pick me up. When i plan events around my life, Christmas day, birthdays etc I will be having him around because i am not going to exclude him for her benifit and it feels like she is going to end up cutting herself out of a large part of my life.

Im at the end of the road as far as explaining things to her in a way that doesn't frighten her or make her uncomfortable. I'm not sure where to go from here. Should i accept that she is not willing to meet him and just carry on living 2 seperate lifes?

sorry for ranting
Reply With Quote