Being poly involves having multiple intimate relationships. That, in no fashion, indicates that they will all have the same characteristics! Some will be closer than others and the range of emotions present in one does not indicate the same range of emotions--or intensity!--will appear in any other. To say that one or two of many are "poly" and the rest aren't is, well, absurd. You have many--which makes them all part of being poly--and some are closer and more intense than others.
I have to wonder why you would be bothered that people with whom you have some involvement would identify you as one of their poly ties. Are you simply using them for sex? They obviously include you as a loving partner of some sort, so for you to decry that while still having sex with them suggests that you are leading them on and using them for sex. That they don't share the same close ties that you have with your primary relationships is immaterial.