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Old 11-24-2012, 08:31 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 669

A thanks from me too.

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
I identify as "solo" because I have never wanted to be a "we." For a long time, I thought that meant I would have to avoid "serious" or "committed" relationships.
For a long time, I had the same thoughts about avoiding committed romantic relationships for the same reason.

In my case, it wasn't polyamory that helped me to see things differently. Rather, it was a growing change and shift over time in my own attitudes towar the world. Then falling in love with an old friend.

We are in a committed romantic relationship now and just now we are monogamous (this may change in the future but we have no plans for an open or poly relationship right now).

I find that people are keen for us to identify as 'we' and sometimes I find that people expect my SO to turn up at things just because I am. What helps in our case is busy lives and lots of interests.

I consciously make more effort to maintain my friendships and interests as an individual than was necessary when I was single. I mostly also turn up to family events alone - if pushed, I sometimes offer to bring a friend. (the only exception this year has been my father's funeral).

I remind people also that I am a whole person on my own, that I love my SO but he doesn't complete me and he doesn't need to follow me around and do things with me unless he wants to.

It is working out so far I think.

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