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Old 11-23-2012, 09:30 PM
Andy4700's Avatar
Andy4700 Andy4700 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Southern Minnesota, USA
Posts: 56

I started this topic over 2 years ago, stating I would "possibly add to and expand on it in the even things progress past me wallowing in my fantasies and daydreams."

Its nearing 2013 and honestly a lot of things have happened in my life.
I have been on some amazing dates, made new friends, lost friends, fallen in love and had my heart broke. I've grown a lot personally and learned a lot.

I don't know why I kinda faded away from here. Slogging through old posts, I really feel at home among you all.

As much as I almost detest OKC, it has brought me a lot when you put it all in a pile and look at it.

I am just going to rewind as far back as I can...

Spring 2011 I ended up getting too close for my own good with a friend. She's not a poly mindset, and attraction and tension over-road logic and I sort of got my toes slammed in a proverbial door when just as I saw a chance that we could try something for a while, she decided she wasn't interested. It was a little messy, but not the worst. We are still fairly good friends.

In the late summer of 2011 I met a married poly chick on OKC. We talked for a few weeks and on paper were a very good match. Same situation and wants from a relationship. She lived about 6 hours away from me, but we decided to meet halfway. We ended up spending 2 weekends together. But we didn't mutually click in person. She was hurt by that and I felt bad.

In late November of 2011 I went on a date with a single girl in Minneapolis. She wasn't experienced in Poly, but had a poly friend and was open to it. I didn't hear from her for like 2 weeks after the first date, and had figured nothing would pan out, but she did eventually contact me again and we went on a great second date, and ended up together for almost 6 months. The relationship was mixed. Shes am amazing lady, but has some serious issues with self worth and depression, and nothing I could do seemed to help. She was sort of a deep black hole sometimes and while I fell in love with her, she didn't feel the same way, and broke up with me in a crass fashion (text message!) in April of this year. The relationship was thrilling and frustrating. I only got to see her about twice a month due to the distance, but have some amazing memories from my time with her. I have tried to stay friends but found it difficult. I never got much closure from her, and while I have seen her twice post breakup, it hasn't been as easy as I wish it was.

Mid summer I went on two dates with another lady from Minneapolis. This one was poly and kink. Honestly liked her, even though she was not exactly my "type". She decided I was too vanilla for her tastes. She was nice about it and we still talk now and then as friends. I wish her all the best.

Bringing me to today. I have a close friend who I love to death and would like to date, but she's looking for a husband. If something pans out there it would be more of a short term thing. Not ideal for me, but I would do it just because I love her so much and we have a close and permanent bond. I have never met someone that can communicate with me like this girl can...

There have been some "platonical dates" too. People I met online, that were not interested in dating me, but interested in meeting me. I spent a Saturday afternoon in a dive bar in Minneapolis drinking craft beer with a pretty redhead.... we talked for almost 6 hours. One of the longest and most memorable first meetings I have ever had. I closed down a truckstop cafe in a broken down small town with another lady. This one poly, yet we never even talked much about dating. We are still close friends.

There is a glob of "dud" first dates, both romantic and platonic, where nothing panned out at all. Typical of anything I think.

Putting this all into words makes me realize how I still have not found the girl I dream of, but I am a hell of a lot closer than I was two years ago when I had never been on a date as a poly.

I will try and update more frequently.

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