I think what really bothered me the most about having regular sex w my bf is the expectation to always be physical. I realized, I very much like and need to be in control of my situations, my feelings and my body. If I want to spend time with someone I care about I don't want the pressure hanging over my head to have sex and feel guilty if I'm not in the mood.
I can TOTALLY relate to this! It is so painful. After 12 years of marriage, I developed great anxiety around sex...I was trying so hard to be attracted to and want me husband - but I just couldn't force it.
Were you ever passionately sexually attracted? Did you enter the relationship for different reasons - like honesty and companionship or was there attraction that has faded?