Originally Posted by Andy4700
I totally respect the ladies that are looking for "the one" and hold on to the dream of marriage. Having been there now, I have mixed feelings about it personally, but I do see it work out blissfully for many, and genuinely wish that for anyone seeking that lifestyle.
and a lot of guys too, for that matter. Can't count the number of OKC messages I've gotten from single guys looking for their 'soulmate to share everything with' (and yes, it is clearly stated on my profile that I am already in a relationship with three other men).
I have a couple of friends (single, looking for a monogamous relationship) who are active on dating sites, and they seem to have just as much, or even more, problems in finding nice people to date, as I did when I started out 'dating while married'. So I'm not even sure anymore that it's the poly-thing that makes things difficult.
Just yesterday, I got a nice message from a guy who has the same taste in music as I do. He is listed as single, and hasn't answered any questions about open relationships. I replied, and asked: so what do you think about the poly-part of my profile? and he replies that he is interested in it, and that btw, he has a girlfriend and she deosn't know he's on OKC. So, I'm glad he's honest about it in the first message, and say byebye.
So this was a case of someone actually attracted to my profile because I am married.. thinking that would mean I wouldn't mind the fact that he is cheating or thinking about cheating.
Not what I'm looking for obviously, but I guess my point is that there are SO many people on dating sites, it just takes a ton of time and patience and careful wording of your profile and only messaging people whose profile you are really drawn to, to make it work. Married or single, that goes foreveryone trying out the online dating pool.