Thread: New girl here!
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Old 11-23-2012, 02:22 AM
starsystem starsystem is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 2
Red face New girl here!

Hey everyone.

So I'm on here trying to find some like-minded folks and hoping to learn more about polyamory. I've been interested in polyamory for years. I've casually dated poly folks who have primary relationships, but it never really got past a few dates, so my experience is pretty much zilch.

I've often struggled with it, fearing jealousy and possessiveness. I've always found that I am really insecure in monogamous relationships... I've been told that my wants and desires from my partners are absolutely unfulfillable. Probably because what I really want is more than one person!

Recently I started taking my interest in polyamory more seriously when I met someone I was interested in who was in a relationship. We hit it off very quickly, without really meaning to and found ourselves experiencing some feelings for each other. We talked about polyamory together, and even read Opening Up together. He decided he wanted to talk to his current partner about opening their relationship, as he also feels like he is polyamorous and would like to see me in a romantic capacity.

To say the least, that went terrible. I've spent the past week talking to him even though he is not allowed to speak to me. He's given vague hints that he might break up with her, that he won't settle for anything less than being able to see me. I am, naturally, uncomfortable about it. I don't really want to start a poly relationship when their partner doesn't really want me to be there! Obviously he has to come to his own conclusions, but the whole situation is making me really insecure... Feelings of jealousy are popping up, and it's a giant mess! Ugh.

Anyway, regardless of how things end up with this guy, I do plan on seeking out poly relationships exclusively from here on out. My friends have responded pretty negatively to this latest development in my life--insisting there is no way I'd ever be happy that way.

We'll see. I thought reading other folks' experiences would make me feel a little stronger about starting this new chapter!

Thanks everyone!
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