Originally Posted by BlazenBurn
We are in CA. My attorney says that my sexual orientation is not an issue. The courts here can not use that at all in determining custody. However, she is not too happy about Darling being married. She keeps emphazing that he needs to be "seriously considering divorce" when we go into the evaluation. Most of the judges here are conservative and rule on the side of the traditional family structure. As far as Chatty goes, everyone including my therapist (who is poly friendly) says to keep her in the background. Keeping Chatty in the background bothers Darling.
Well, Darling can bitch and complain all he likes about downplaying his marriage and not letting Chatty testify (which I think would be an insane thing to do), but look at it this way -- you have the choice between trotting his wife out just to prove something to him and losing custody, or keeping a low profile and ensuring you get custody. What's more important?
If I were you, I'd even consider backing off from your relationships with both Darling and Chatty until the custody case is settled. If it meant keeping my children with me, you can be damn sure I'd be celibate until the papers were signed. It is simply not the time to take a political stance about your relationships. Some things have to be prioritized.