I'm sorry you too have landmines in your head. Sucks to run into one.
I find breathing meditation practice to be VERY useful -when panic attacks occur, I sit and focus on my breathing until they go away.
If you have a piece of wood, say that you're making a beautiful piece of furniture. and every day, for years, every day, someone spends time warping the grain in the wrong direction, it will grow warped. No matter how much sanding and varnish or bondo you add, the wood is warped.
...I mean to do a painting of a tree used for a living fencepost, there's a number of them around where I live...The tree grows around the barbed wire, and it's not the prettiest thing...but the tree manages to live past the barbed wire stuck in its' flesh.